Well you may be surprised to get this - I am not about to say I’m surprised to write it but after reading dome of the stuff you have written in your journal (Yes I came across your journal whilst surfing the net one evening) I decided now was the time I told you a few things I don’t think or maybe I did say at the time we ended.
It wasn’t as you think an Internet affair - nothing actually started until after I had told you that faithful night. Yes I admit I had met him and believe me I was tempted but nothing happened. The time had come to admit who I really was. It was going to happen if I had met Si or not. I had accepted the fact that I was gay and living a lie and although it hurt you in the process, hurting you was never the outcome I wanted. That’s the only thing I have been ever truly sorry for!
I loved you so much then and in some ways I always will. You were the first person to let me know that I was better than who I was and always took me for who I was at the time and never stopped giving me support and love. I wish we had stayed best friends, it would have been so much easier on us all, but I would like to say that it has helped me become part of the person I am today - a strong willed person who has goals and things that need to be done in life and despite all the knockdowns, put downs and kick ins we may get and all the hurt we receive along the way, we always get up, bigger stronger and more determined than ever.
I loved it how you have turned your hurt into something positive for your friends and I am happy to see you are happy. I am also glad that you added on that Si and myself were still happy together (and we are stronger than ever!). I am so happy that you are now in a relationship where you can be truly happy and that he understands you in ways that I never could (I know this to be true because I have the same - despite our differences, many things are still alike).
Despite all that has happened, you remain one of the best things that happened to me, for opening my eyes when they were blinded by my family loyalty and making me into a stronger person. So thank you for that.
I do love the person you are and sometimes wish I could have got to know the person you are now. You are a fantastic person and we do ever cross paths again, I hope you would look upon me with the kindness and friendliness you give so freely so everyone else. I f you ever see me again, say Hi sometime!!!
Have a great life with Yorkie and take care.
P.S. This isn’t a suicide note or anything and if you want to reply then just put a kind word on your website sometime about me. And if you’re ever in Manchester email me sometime and maybe we’ll meet up
Still not sure how I feel about this - but hey, that's life