CharlieBeth's "My Life As Mumma Walker"

I've been busy this last few days. I'm feeling better now and I had some stuff to catch up on. I've been working on a new web site for a florest. Here's my demo site for any one who's interested: http://www.chiggster.btinternet.co.uk/petals/index.htm

DELL finally delivered that PC yesterday too, so I've been swapping the internals around a bit and now I have one supa-dupa work PC (which also happens to play the Sims 2 better than any other PC in the house!!!) and one with just the motherboard and power pack in which I can re-fill and start to use if / when the other one starts to pack up.

What can I say, I drive these machines damn hard! They rearly last more than 2 years (at least, they don't last too long after I let Yorkie take them over. I don't think he ever cleans them up inside and they end up full of dust and grime, over heating and burning out).

So today I am taking a well deserved day off to play Sims 2... Well, the morning off. If more work com…

Your Birthdate: August 26
You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.
Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.
You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.
Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.

Your strength: Your attention to detail

Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes

Your power color: Turquoise

Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up

Your power month: AugustWhat Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It's official... I need a complete body transplant! I need a newer, slimmer model, finely tuned etc...

My gut is still giving me hassle. I'm not being sick any more, and I can eat again without it knocking me sideways for 2 hours, but I'm still not right. And I'm still having problems with my right ear! How long has that been now? My arms are peeling from the shoulders down making me look scratty and horrible, and my facial skin is dried out and dull too.

Being back on my diet has made me a bit fed up too. I know it needs to be done, it's not healthy for me to be so over weight, even though I am much slimmer than I used to be, I am still officialy over weight. But I'm feeling stressed out so much of the time that all I want to do is reach for the stuff that's bad for me! I keep beating myself up over stopping the WW food plan and going back to eating what ever I felt like whenever I felt like it. If I had stuck to it I would be at my goal weight now by loosin…

There is something wrong with my tummy :0(

I feel sick, I have cramps, my nose is running like a tap and I can't seem to stop sneezing. And I don't know why! I've not had anything different to eat than normal, and everything was bought fresh yesterday anyway so I don't think it's anything I've eaten.

I ffel like crap and I'm going to bed.

Today is dragging.... it's another glorious day and I should be out there enjoying it, but it so hot! There's no breeze and I'm still suffering from my previous sun burn. I've started to peel now too which looks unpleasant and shows off how stupid I was to go out for a day without any sun cream.

I have no energy for anything and I'm feeling ratty. I've done all the work that has been sent to me for the day already, I've read my fave blogs and scouted around for some more and I've collected the last of my avon money. Now I have nothing to do - well nothing that doesn't involve getting even hotter and rattier. I don't even have the energy to play any of my games.

I am concidering sacking everything in for the day and lounging in the back garden with my book and a cold drink. And sun cream! At least in my own back garden hardly anyone will see my scabbie peeling shoulder, and in admidst the general shite we have lying around the garden (old bits of t…

... to have Yorkie!

No, really, I do! Forget all the stories about him being pissed up loon, they are only occasional occurances these days anyway and I always found it amusing rather than a problem.

Remember instead the times he has pulled me out of my deepest depressions, made me laugh when I felt like screaming or crying, bailed me out when I've got my self stuck, and all the other things big and small.

I see what hassle my friends and aquentences have with their fellers, some complaining that their wife/girlfriend "gets it easy being at home with baby all day" until the rolls reverse, and then say "it's all right for you, you get to go out to work, I'm stuck home with baby all day". Or when they walk out on their wife/girlfriend when they are needed the most, come back, sleep with them, say they want to get back together, and this vanish for days on end leaving said poor woman with no idea what's going on. And then there's the guys who start da…

YAY! How much fun have I had this weekend??? And HOW MANY KIDS!

This is doing my brooding no good at all!

Jacquie and David called in for lunch on Friday on their way to a camping trip at Millom with Caitlin and Mia. Mia is coming on in leaps and bounds. It's scarry to think it's only been a few weeks since I say them all last and I swear Mia has grown several inches, and she's stringing sentaneces togther now too. Sadly, Caitlin is feeling a little left out and is kicking up a fuss, but she's still my little princess, and she knows mummy ans daddy still love her too. Ahhh!

On Saturday Jill and Tara organised a "pub lunch" up by Tara and Colin's. So the three of us girls, our fellers (Yorkie's had the weekend off too), and Jill & Gary's baby Morgan toddled up to the pub around 2.30 / 3.00 to find the pub shut until 5pm! So pub lunch became pub tea and we didn't finish getting served until closer to 9.30 (no oil in the frier, no chef, and new …

I had another day out with Debbie today, and I have come out of it feeling greatly disturbed. I am feeling sad, more than sad, I'm feeling depressed. I am also feeling very very insecure.

Basically It's down to the kind of conversations that we have. We have both been in bad relationaships in the past - her more recently than me - and the expirences we've had have alot of similarites, not least being that a significantly large part of the "nastiness" has been partly of our own making.

In my case I have time and again chosen to get involved with people who have simply taken advantage of my kind, trusting and generous nature. And I don't just mean romantic realtionships, all kinds of relationships. And I have been unable to admit to myself the glaringly obvious facts that I am being taken advantage of. Mostly my pride gets in the way.

Debbie, on the other hand, has knowingly got into - and stayed in - relationships with men who are already attached.

I'm sure …

Yup... How STUPID can you get?

Ordered a new PC a week and 1 day ago, via Dell (which, before you say it, can cause problems before we even start, I know, but it was cheapish and had XP Pro which I needed ASAP)... and after the payment was made we were informed that it would take " 2 to 11 days " for delivery... and we had just forked out £50 for shipping and handling!!!!!!

They could POST the damn thing for that and I'd have it in 3 days!

This morning I was musing over what to do. OK, we had ordered it on a Sunday so I guess you can forget that as a "day" but still, I would have expected to have had it on Wednesday considering what we paid. No sign of it even by this morning.

Infact, I had been complaining to mum about it on the phone this morning and was debating calling them up and giving them hell as the " ordering and dispatch " web page I was pointed toward said the computer had been with the currier since monday last week. 7 days!

Early this afterno…

So I made the "mistake" of jumping on the scales this morning. Only because my size 12 jeans felt a little too snugg on Friday. And I am just under 12 stone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In my deffence... my period (which I am still not used to having again AND which is almost a week EARLY) started this morning so I will be bloated and slighlty heavier for that (but lets face it, only by a couple of pounds) and there is the whole munching thing going on in this house as a direct result of the smoking ban.

I decided to get back onto the weight watchers web site for the first time in 3 months. And in those 3 months since I last logged on I have gained a whole stone! I have gone from 10 stone 12 to 11 stone 12... and half of that in the last three weeks!

It's freaked me out a lot! Appart from the fact that I really don't want to undo all the hard work I put into loosing weight in the first place, I have to be able to fit into my wedding dress by the end of Jan (for the proper fitting in…

Got dragged out for the day by Debbie.

I dropped Yorkie off at work and swong round to pick Debbie up, she was going to drive but I always feel happier driving my self for some reason. Plus, I'm STILL half deaf in one ear and I can't hear the driver if I'm sat in the passenger seat, but i can hear a passenger when I'm in the driving seat...

Anyway.

First off we went to the Crook O Loon for a walk, which was pleasant enough. The walk it self ended up being pretty pointless as you walk round in a big circle and there's nothing to see or do... well, there's nature and the Lune river which are beautiful, but what I mean is there's not monument, or specific viewing area with a plack of information etc. There was a field of young bulls that we had to tip-toe through though! That was interesting!

Next stop was Kirkby Lonsdale, a lovely little place - it's also where Esther is with her Kitten Fever stuff that I sell so I have been before but only on business. We ha…

Yes ladies and gents, as of today Yorkie and I have been together for 5 whole years, and have been engaged for one of them!

It seems like no time at all, and yet at the same time, like I've known him all my life. Strange, isn't it? But very very nice!!!

Yorkie's got the day off work today, so first thing this morning I gave him my gift - David Gilmore CD he's been after ever since he first heard about it months ago - and them we headed into town to do the shopping for my gift.... I lovely long pic-nic lunch in the Trough of Bowland!

I've been begging Yorkie to come and have a pic-nic with me for years! I love pic-nics but know he's not keen. He bought a cool box, some coolers to put in it, a range of sandwich fillers, snacks, dips, and fruit juices, packed up the lunch and off we went!

It's such a lovely day too, so warm and hardly any breeze at all! We found a nice spot by a stream, far enough away from the sheep to eat out sandwiches without having them pilfe…

So no more world cup for us then...

*sniff*

And what a way to go too... penalties with Beckham, Owen AND Rooney out of the game. Sad. Very very sad.

Other than that the weekends been good. I went for lunch with Jen and Lelly on Friday afternoon - followed by a trip to the park with Adam to play on the swings, and then round to Frans for the evening for a girly night. Sarah, Jill and Tara were there too, and poor Simon had been banished to the bedroom, but couldn't resist coming down to join us after a bit. On Saturday the boys congrated at Ray and Sarahs house, and the girls at Jill and Garys house (with baby Morgan) and watched the football separatly (who knows why). Fran started off with the boys but got board and came over to us.

It's boiling hot here though, over 30 degrees, and we're baking! Jen's Adam seems to be taking it in his stride now with his paddling pool and stuff, but poor Morgan is suffering for the heat. And other than dress him lightly, keep him well h…