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*Sigh*

I know it's not practical right now, what with being skint, and the wedding looming, but I am feeling SOOOOOOOO broody!

Just come back from yet another Bobbin lunch, this time with Jen and baby Adam (1 year old on the 9th), and Jill and baby Morgan (10 weeks tomorrow). I felt so left out being the only girl in the group without a son of my own to cuddle, but I did get plantly of cuddles from theirs.

Adam is still teething - 4 months straight now that lads been popping teeth out, and he has a perpetual cold so the poor little love is still just a big bundle of snot and drool! But he is so sweet and nice natured that you forget about the sogginess as soon as he flashes one of his award winning smiles at you. He's learned to hold his own cup, and has started to clap when ever anyone says to - or says a word remotly like "clap" or "hands". He's still playing the "I'll throw this on the floor and make you pick it up" game, although he gets less attention for it now, and has to wait longer for what ever it is to be picked up again. So if he really wants it he tends not to throw it quite so often or so far, hee hee hee.

Morgan has more than doubled in size now that he's 10 weeks (10 weeks tomorrow), but refused to show off what a good eater he is for the audience today by spitting everything up right away, although his burps are getting more impressive. I got to have a nice long hold of him while I let Jill finish he lunch without a mewling baby getting in the way. He seems to be facinated by the strangest things; walls for example! He's still keeping Jill and Garry up half the night, but he's doing really well, gaining the right amount of weight, all bright and happy, and amazed by the world around him. So sweeeet!

It's a really nice day so we desided to sit in the "beer garden" for lunch (it's the old car port, cobbled over with some benches and a gate across the entrance, but they're making the effort) and typically as soon as we got settled it got breazy and not a warm as we thought it would be. The sun was round the wrong side of the pub! Adam was messmerised by a pigeon that was wondering round, and Morgan just kept staring at the window into the kitchen (which you can't really see though) with an expression of serious concentration. But at least they were happy and relativly quiet.

I was gutted when 3pm rolled round and both mum's had to get off an continue with the kiddies routeens. I could have sat and played with the kiddies all afternoon, I could even cope with the snot, vomit and screaming. I am longing for one of my own. Don't get me wrong, I know it's worlds apart, spending time with someone elses kid for a couple of hours, and having your own 24/7 with no break and the hormones and biological stresses that go with it... But I really want a family of my own.

I want to have the pregnancy, I already have stretch marks from being a former (mostly former) fatty. I could probably happily by-pass the labour and stitches but apparently that's complusary. I want a small bundle of love that is made of me and Yorkie. I don't care about sleepless nights (former insomniac), milk and vomit stained clothes (former pisshead), screaming (former rock club attendee, ear drums were fecked years ago), depression (been there, done that, know how to deal with it), not being able to go out and get drunk on a whim (hardly ever do it any more anyway, would rather have mates round for a bottle of something nice, a takeaway and a DVD), never having any spare money (HELLO! Have you read this blog before today??), being stuck at home all day (again, HELLO!)

I could so do this!

But I have to wait at least another year. The wedding is more than a year away, and I can't impose my DNA on another generation until the rings are on and the register is signed.

I guess I shall have to live vicariously through my mates for a little longer.

Any one need a baby sitter???
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