Wednesday, February 11, 2009

False Alarm

I'll be honest and say I am a bit gutted about this.

Dispite having no cycle in Nov, Dec, or Jan... I am not pregnant.

And, again being honest, it's probably a good thing. Mark's still not working, the house isn't ready for a 2nd baby yet, and we both still want to give 100% to Jack (we always will, but I'm sure you understand what I mean) while he's so young.

BUT... It would have been nice. And we were just starting to get our hopes up too, thinking that maybe we'd be having a little girl this time because I didn't feel physically the same as I did when I was carrying Jack.

I'd taken a test on New Years Day when I spotted I'd missed 2 cycles, and it came up neg. But so had the first test I took with Jack.

Then I missed a 3rd cycle and got my brain ticking again. Did nothing for a couple of weeks, then went and bought a 2pack. First of those came up with the faintest of faint lines... There enough for me and Mark to see it - just - but not enough to really be considered a line.

So I thought I'd give it another week, take the 2nd test and get an apointment with the doc or nurse to see what's up - pos or neg - thinking that if I wasn't expecting then SOMETHING was wrong with me!

A week went by and this monday I did the test. Another neg. So I called up the docs and got an apt for this thu.

Guess what happened 10 mins later? Natures own way of letting me know I'm NOT pregnant.

But at least I do know, and everything seems to be working as it should now. Can't help feeling a bit sad about it though.
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