I feel like I have achieved nothing this last week, when in fact I've done pretty well. it just FEELS like I'm getting no where!
Me and Yorkie actually managed to be social, with an afternoon out with Mark & Gemma one day, and an afternoon out with Jen and her lads another. And that was really nice! That's how I feel things should be.
But I seem to be consumed by work again. Since my Saturday Guy quit on Tuesday (after I had asked that he was definitely OK to work this weekend, as I was supposed to be away for a wedding) I have been trying to get things sorted out.
On top of that instead of just needing cleans on 3 days, we've needed to do 5 and provide management for them all. I've done Thu & Fri already, and I'm back on Monday for the last one, but we've had to feed people in who either don't know the job that well, or don't know the site too well. And while I'm sure it will all run smoothly because they are very capable people and I have provided plenty of training, I can't help dwelling on it while I'm not there. STUPID! Probably mostly because there is a war waging between some of my staff, and last time I took some time off one of my best leaders wound up leaving the site after a row with the Saturday Guy so I know anything can happen when I'm not there to calm it all down.
I have also been arranging interviews for some complex and housekeeper staff, all of which have let me down or been crap, with only 1 interview left to do on Monday. If I don't find someone it'll be me doing 12 hour days again until I DO find someone!
So in the end we've not been able to go the wedding this weekend after all, and it was my Mum's birthday yesterday and I didn't even get to see her either. We're going to go over tomorrow instead - but that's Fathers Day and should be a day for Jack & Yorkie so even that doesn't sit well.
Essentially, I feel tired, and fed up, and fat, and not-so-much-ugly-as-run-down-and-physically-showing-it. There aren't enough hours in the day, or days in the week, for me to fit in everything I want and need to do. So all I want to do is curl up and hide in bed, and not bother anyone or be bothered by anyone, until it all goes away and I can just get on with being a wife and mother.