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Shattered!

It's been a busy few days! Tuesday we had a playday with Conner at Jens. Yesterday I took Jack to the library (where he was a total horror and had to be brought home early and put to bed!) and today we've had a playday with Katie at Kathys. Tomorrow Nana's coming over.

I am utterly worn out! Mark's agreed to take Jack out on Saturday to give me some time off and I really need it!

Squiggle is in full on wiggle mode. I haven't had it confirmed yet (because I don't see the midwife for ages) but I'm certain this baby has started to drop into my pelvis. My belly has changed shape, is rock hard most of the time, and I am having the worst discomfort in my right leg. If I sit for too long it's just stops working. I can put weight on it fine, but I can't lift it. I end up shuffling across the floor like Igor! I think baby must be resting on a nerve or something when I'm sat. But at the same time I can't spend for ever on my feet either because the pressure on my lower back & coccyx gets close to unbearable.

I can't help but think that a lot of the reason I am suffering so much more this time round than when I was expecting Jack is because I am so much heavier this time. Me. Not the baby. This is also (I think) the real reason why I'm being hounded by the GD bods at the hospital "Ohh! She's fat, she must be diabetic!" when no, I just eat too much and do too little.

That said.... if I truly am suffering from GD (all be it borderline) then I do have to start thinking about my diet long term. And it's about time I started to care more about my health. Before I got pregnant this time I was already the weight I was the day before Jack was born. It wasn't baby weight that hadn't shifted... I'd managed to shift that no problem at all especially with breastfeeding him. I gained the extra weight afterwards through simply being unhealthy. It's not a good message to give the kids for one, and secondly if I do have GD then I run the risk of developing actual diabetes later if I don't keep tabs on myself.

So once Squiggle is here I'll be modifying my diet. I've always done Weight Watchers if trying to slim (as regular blog fans will know from my posts in the run up to the wedding). I've had a look into it and they do offer plans catered towards the breastfeeding mum! Huzzah! Their system of portion control works for me when I can be bothered to follow it, so that's what I'll be doing.

This is my ticker (in preparation and to remind me when I am in "Oh look at my beautiful new baby" mode). I have my Pre-Preg weight on it as the Start Weight (201lb) my target weight (140lb) and my pregnant weight (currently 216lb, a pregnancy gain of 15lb with 5 weeks to go).




I'm thinking that a nice healthy, balanced diet will provide Squiggle with the best milk, help me shift the baby weight, help avoid diabetes, give me more energy to look after baby & toddler, and help reduce the chances of me getting postnatal depression again. Sitting on my expanding backside, stuffed to the gills with pizza and chips, with no energy to look after or entertain my kids isn't going to be any good to anyone. I do plan to stick to the once weekly junk treat, and the sunday roast though. No point in punishing everyone or suffering myself. But everything in moderation and giving myself a sensible target will be good for me. I'm thinking this is a total life style change, not just a get slim thing. The risk of developing diabetes is there now for the rest of my life. So I have to be sensible for the rest of my life.

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