Washing up. "Mummy, bubbles?" Me "Yep. I'm washing the dishes." Jack, "Dishes have bubblebath?? Why?"
Cooking: "Mummy! Careful! Hot hot hot! Get ouchie!", me "it's ok, Jack. Mummy will be careful", Jack "Noooo! Mummy get ouchie!" Love him! But need to cook the sausages... don't fancy them raw.
Being very smart
Playing with toy money. Daddy is holding Tom. Jack grabs a handfull of plastic coins and sticks it to Tom's bottom "Change Tom's Bum!" (which for anyone who doesn't know is what we say when Tom needs a new nappy...)
Being not so smart
Jack (out of no where): "Why?" Me, "Why what?" Jack "Yes, Why?" me "Erm, why what? What do you want to know?" Jack "Why?" Me... quickly distract him with something - anything - else.
The human body
I walk into the room with make-up on: "Mummy pretty", strokes my hair "nice hair mummy". I love this!
While I'm bending over to change Tom's nappy: "Hee hee hee! Mummy big bum!" slaps my bottom "big bum, big mummy boobies" Not quite as enamoured.
While he's on the sofa with no pants on (potty training) "Mummy look, big winky!" followed by (when my mum is here) "Nana look, big winky!" Oh dear...... I say "put some pants on. No one wants to see your big winky." Jack says "I like big winky mummy" *sigh*
The Safestyle UK salesman: Jack "Pizza man?" "Me "No daring. Sorry. " Jack, points to briefcase "Pizza in there?" Me "No, not pizza. Just papers." Jack "Just papers? Awwww..."
The survayor. Jack "Pizza pizza pizza!" Me. "No, it's still not the pizza man." Jack, reaching for tool bag. "Pizza in there mummy!" Me. *sigh* "No sweetie, it's his tools." to the survayor "We really don't have pizza that often... honest."
The Jehovah's Witness. Jack "Pizza! Come in pleeeeease! Pizza in there??" Me, "No Jack, that's his bible. Not a pizza." Jack pouts, but it still trying to paw at the Good Book to see if it has a thick cheesie crust. A moments thought. "Jack, would you like to MAKE a pizza?" Jack "YEAH!!!!!"
We really DON'T have pizza that often!