Friday, June 10, 2011

A friend in need

Back in the day.... when I was still young and single (well, unmarried at least), and most of my friends where in the same situation, there would be late night phone calls of "Oh he's such an arsehole!" or "He's left me!" etc which would result in a banding together of friends with booze and chocolate and cigs. I thought those days where behind me. It's always seemed to me to be a teenage thing.

Looks like I was wrong!

I now seem to be entering an age where couples are splitting up. At 31 I have friends who have been divorced for some time, and some even more than once! I have friends who are now single parents. It's all a bit scary, and I wont pretend that me and hubby are 100% all the time (but who is?).

I got a call from one friend the other night (lets not embarrass her by naming her in these days of Google searches etc) not long after my boys were in bed. The ex had been round to put their kid to bed and had been pretty unpleasant with my friend. There was no need, OK he's hurting because she effectively called an end to it, but she didn't just ditch him, she WANTED to make a go of it; marriage, more kids etc, but he'd not wanted to and they had drifted a part. When it came to make or break.... it broke. There had been rows, ugly ones, and I honestly think she made the right choice for her, and their kid's, sake.

But anyway, he'd been and gone and she was feeling rotten. I luckily have my hubby at home so can - technically - get out of an evening without abandoning my kids (unlike so many of our other single parent friends), so I got the call. She was upset, stressed, needed help to finish a bottle of wine, and oh, could I please pick up some cigs because she was really craving and couldn't leave her kid in bed alone while she went to the shop! But what are friends for? I was there inside 5 mins....

I cant honestly say I want to regress to a stage in my life where we are all single women again, slagging of the latest duff feller, planning the next pulling session, and picking up the pieces of another broken heart. I don't think not being a teenager any more will make it any less unpleasant than it was the first time round. If anything, now we all have kids it's got to be worse! Their feelings to take in to account. The inability to just drop everything and go on a date with that hot guy who asked you out 5 mins ago. And that dreaded title of "Single Mum".

I can only hope for this friend that she can look to our other friends who have got through this first stage and come out the other side stronger, better, happier people. And for me.... that I never end up in the same situation. In the mean time, I'll carry on being that shoulder to cry on, and, if needs be, the cigarette delivery girl too :oD
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