Craziness, Self Pity & The Green Eyed Monster

I know it's just my head state at the moment, but it seems like everyone except me is pregnant or having their babies. The news today of yet another pregnant friend has left me feeling delighted for the happy couple... and like I've been kicked in the gut all at the same time.

I'm being totally selfish, and tomorrow I will feel completely different! But right now I want to wallow in a giant vat of Cadbury's Chocolate and not surface until the world ends.

I am now constantly staring at my Fertility Friend chart... willing it to suddenly shout "You're pregnant!" But that would be an impossible thing since my chart cannot make me pregnant after all. No amount of tweeking it will change what's happening or not happening inside my body. I'm practically counting the seconds until my next temp check to see if it rises again like it did today, and I'm itching to get my blood test results on Friday. It might say I have ovulated! I'm 99.9% certain it wont. But it MIGHT!

I hate myself when I get this way. I'm not really the self pitying or jealous type. But I am very frustrated at the moment, and as much as I try to fight it, the SAD takes it toll too. I react with way too much emotion, and always with the wrong stuff - emotional over anything upsetting and numb to anything joyful. I'm not even all that excited about Christmas this year, although the accident at the weekend has taken the shine off that (no car for Christmas means no Big Family Christmas for us).

I'm going to blame my reaction on hormones and SAD, take myself off to bed early (before I eat the kitchen and set my TTC back even further), and start tomorrow afresh with nothing but joy for all of my friends with happy news and new born babies.

Comments

Pretty Princess 💗 No.4 son #boyswhoaregirls #girlswhoareboys

via Instagram http://bit.ly/2G4fgYQ

Wedding List.... (OMG)

A new kitchen.... Really! We need one! So I've been saying to people that we'll want either B&Q or Ikea vouchers... Only I can't say which yet because I haven't choosen which one I like best: B&Q Oak Shaker style: ( on froogle ) ( on their site ) Ikea: Tildaholm BECAUSE... our kitchen is REALLY badly laid out, the storage is dropping to bits, the seal round the sink is black and festering, the oven hasn't worked for YEARS (the hob and grill are ok though), the seal on one of thef ridge doors has gone too, and the floor... half tiled, half bare concret! But now I have to choose which one I like best, and get the measurements sorted out, and then get the prices for what I can have in the space we've got... PHEW!

Recipe Review: Hairy Bikers liver & bacon with onions & gravy

I need a bit of comfort food at this time of year. I really love this recipe from The Hairy Bikers: Liver and bacon with onions and gravy and freely admit that I have whipped this from the BBC Food website. I follow the recipe (but sometimes chuck some mushrooms in too) and split it four ways at 11 pro points per serving. It's a classic, and even my 6 year old likes liver cooked like this - the 4 & 2 year olds need a little extra ketchup to convince them. The Hairy Bikers’ traditional liver and bacon makes a simple supper packed full of flavour and bursting with vitamins and minerals Ingredients 450g/1lb lambs’ liver , sliced and fully thawed if frozen 25g/1oz butter 2 tbsp sunflower oil 4 tbsp plain flour 1 onion , halved lengthways and sliced 125g/4½oz rindless streaky bacon rashers, each cut into 4–5 pieces 1 beef stock cube 500ml/18fl oz jus t-boiled water 1–2 tsp tomato ketchup salt and freshly ground black pepper Preparation method Rinse the liver in a cola

CharlieBeth's "My Life As Mumma Walker"

Search This Blog