Skip to main content

Craziness, Self Pity & The Green Eyed Monster

I know it's just my head state at the moment, but it seems like everyone except me is pregnant or having their babies. The news today of yet another pregnant friend has left me feeling delighted for the happy couple... and like I've been kicked in the gut all at the same time.

I'm being totally selfish, and tomorrow I will feel completely different! But right now I want to wallow in a giant vat of Cadbury's Chocolate and not surface until the world ends.

I am now constantly staring at my Fertility Friend chart... willing it to suddenly shout "You're pregnant!" But that would be an impossible thing since my chart cannot make me pregnant after all. No amount of tweeking it will change what's happening or not happening inside my body. I'm practically counting the seconds until my next temp check to see if it rises again like it did today, and I'm itching to get my blood test results on Friday. It might say I have ovulated! I'm 99.9% certain it wont. But it MIGHT!

I hate myself when I get this way. I'm not really the self pitying or jealous type. But I am very frustrated at the moment, and as much as I try to fight it, the SAD takes it toll too. I react with way too much emotion, and always with the wrong stuff - emotional over anything upsetting and numb to anything joyful. I'm not even all that excited about Christmas this year, although the accident at the weekend has taken the shine off that (no car for Christmas means no Big Family Christmas for us).

I'm going to blame my reaction on hormones and SAD, take myself off to bed early (before I eat the kitchen and set my TTC back even further), and start tomorrow afresh with nothing but joy for all of my friends with happy news and new born babies.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Prosecco Gin Cocktails #hny #happynewyear #2019 to #2020

via Instagram https://ift.tt/36eg3kL

Recipe Review: Hairy Bikers liver & bacon with onions & gravy

I need a bit of comfort food at this time of year. I really love this recipe from The Hairy Bikers:  Liver and bacon with onions and gravy  and freely admit that I have whipped this from the BBC Food website. I follow the recipe (but sometimes chuck some mushrooms in too) and split it four ways at 11 pro points per serving. It's a classic, and even my 6 year old likes liver cooked like this - the 4 & 2 year olds need a little extra ketchup to convince them. The Hairy Bikers’ traditional liver and bacon makes a simple supper packed full of flavour and bursting with vitamins and minerals Ingredients 450g/1lb lambs’  liver , sliced and fully thawed if frozen 25g/1oz  butter 2 tbsp  sunflower oil 4 tbsp  plain flour 1  onion , halved lengthways and sliced 125g/4½oz rindless streaky  bacon  rashers, each cut into 4–5 pieces 1  beef stock  cube 500ml/18fl oz  jus t-boiled water 1–2 tsp tomato  ketchup salt and freshly ground  black pepper Preparation method Rinse the liver in a cola

Romance

Now, we don't really do Romance, Yorkie and I. We're not the sort of couple that goes to posh restraunts, buy hearts and flowers on a whim etc, but last night we had a really sweet night. We didn't really do much that was classically romantic, it was the mood, the feeling in the air, if you know what I mean....? I cooked us steaks for tea, which is always a winner for Yorkie (his second fav after anything pork) and had the candles lit in the front room. Not that I was going for a romantic atmosphere, I just like to have candles lit on cold dark nights. We snuggled up on the settee together, watching nothing much on telly, all warm and cozy under a blanket, with the cat curled up o us. We'd been talking a little bit about the wedding and stuff, and about what my doc had said to me about what to do before we start a family. Yorkie's eyes went all soft and sweet, he was hugging me close and saying all the right kind of sweet thinks that I love to hear. It was on