It's everything else.
I'm stacking a massive amount of blame on the time of year. Winter wrecks me. I get depressed. I've blogged about this before, and I claimed that exercise was my saviour! I still believe it's true. Only the weather has been awful this last week and it's not going to get any better any time soon. I have stocked up on thermals and I have my new boots (which are awesome) so I am good against the cold and a little wet. But not against vicious hail storms or pouring rain. I'm not about to take Freddie out in it either.
With almost no walking going on my mood has plummeted, and so has my will power. I'm snacking and nibbling all day long. I start off well, but by lunch time I've had enough of fruit and I'm munching on the kids treats. I am berating myself constantly for being stupid and eating chocolate when I should be having fruit or water, and then I feel worse and eat more. Which then makes me feel even more stupid. It's like there's a nasty part of me that wants to fail, that wants me to pack it all in and get fatter. It's that same destructive part of me that starts whispering in my ear at 3am with all the worst moments of my past (oh, depression, you are a total arse!)
I am counting my points though - well... most of them. I am not giving up on filling in my meal tracker on Weight Watchers, and I am still wearing my FitBit 24/7. And on the plus side my sciatica is easing up too.
Part of me wants to write off January all together, get though my current head state and start again in February, but I know that's a dangerous thing to do right now because if I do I will just eat-eat-eat and undo all this hard work I have put in. And I REALLY don't want to do that!
So for now I'm working on not gaining! And trying to find something that not food to cheer myself up!
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